Historian and researcher Dr Lisa Nolland finishes her two-part series on the ideological capture of the sexual education system, and how the Church can do better
In part 1 of this article series, I outlined some of the key messages that parents and Christians need to hear as they seek to help children navigate through these challenging cultural times.
But what about the key messages for teenagers?
My ‘Smart Sex Messages’ approach to Christian sex education aims to give teenagers the true facts about sex to help them navigate these complex issues.
Message 1: Sex is fab!
Having spent time in the last article highlighting the contemptible ethics of controversial social scientist Alfred Kinsey, there is one point on which he and the Bible agree: Sex is fabulous!
In the first book of the Bible, it is clear that God made our bodies – distinguishing between male and female – which create orgasmic magic when they meet in an act of self-giving. God loves the human body and its capacities for profound experiences, including sex. Genesis 1:28 tells us that God blessed Adam and Eve’s union and commanded them to “be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it”.
There is no point in trying to deny the pleasure of sex, but the best sex will always be enjoyed within marriage. As two people – male and female – literally become ‘one flesh’, they enjoy an intimacy which is like nothing else. They also have the opportunity to create new life in the process.[1] Why would you seek to substitute the best sex for other types which, at best, will only provide short term relief and gratification?
And this isn’t only about individuals. In a small way marriage, and sexual relations within it, offers us a powerful visual demonstration of Christ’s love for his Church. As Catholic author and speaker Christopher West has noted: ‘These heavenly nuptials are what we long for (desire); they’re what we’re created for (design); and they’re what we’re headed for (destiny)’.[2]
Message 2: Sex is big
Medical professionals, teachers, other teenagers and the media seek to minimise and ignore the implications of having sex.
From her decades of listening to sexually active youngsters, American paediatrician Meg Meeker says “teens are particularly vulnerable to the negative effects of early sexual experience because of the intense and confusing array of emotions they’re already experiencing.”[3]
The truth is that sex is big and comes at a price, especially for the young. Early sexual initiation, more sex and with more partners (‘body count’), place adolescents at greater risk, especially girls, with their vulnerable female anatomy. Participating in more ‘extreme’ kinds of sex – anal, group, choking etc – is also increasingly common. Pornography plays a huge role here, as well. The earlier people start engaging in sex, the higher the rate of sexual partners. Participating in more ‘extreme’ kinds of sex (anal, group, choking etc) is also more frequent. You can never have your first time again, so don’t let other people convince you that sex is just ‘little bits of naughty fun.’
Message 3: Sex is fire
Like fire, sex can come with serious and undesirable consequences, some of which are relatively unknown.
Teenagers are typically taught that using condoms is the best method of contraception since it is the only one which is meant to protect against both pregnancy and STIs. Sadly, the ‘safer’ sex condom claims are often heard as ‘safe’ sex, which can be misleading. If something goes wrong with the condom, they are then only about 87% effective for preventing pregnancy. This means that 13 out of 100 people who use them will have an unplanned pregnancy. In reality, condoms don’t prevent pregnancy as well as intrauterine device or hormonal forms of birth control.[4]
Moreover, many do not realize that certain STIs, such as herpes simplex virus (HSV), HPV, syphilis and trichomoniasis, are spread by skin-to-skin contact. So even if the condom has been correctly used, transmission may still occur.[5] According to a House of Commons Committee report on STIs, young people aged 15-24 are “the most likely to be diagnosed with the most common types of STIs such as chlamydia, syphilis and increasingly hard-to-treat gonorrhoea. In this report, teenage girls and young women in their 20s were particularly mentioned in terms of the first two STIs”.[6]
Emerging research from the USA also reveals that when teens have sex, certain negative life outcomes are more likely to occur which will often persisting into adulthood. Such outcomes include diminished overall physical and psychological health, poorer, more unstable relationships, lower educational attainment, less financial net worth and increased involvement with smoking, drugs and violence. [7]
When not done with the right person at the right time, engaging in sex can have life-changing implications which may not be for the better. Again in the book Genesis, the Serpent convinces Adam and Eve that there won’t be any consequences if they disobey God. This is oldest lie there is, so do not be drawn into believing it today when it comes to issues of sex.
Message 4: Sex is for later
Teenagers are often told they are mini-adults. They are told that if given proper information, they are capable of making life-altering decisions.
But this is false.
Their bodies and brains are under construction, with new nerve pathways forming all the time. In particular, their still-maturing pre-frontal cortex means that they have less developed executive functions of judging, reasoning, anticipating consequences and controlling impulses. Addiction is effectively “hardwired” into the adolescent brain. Cravings build much faster and the adolescent brain gives an exaggerated response when exposed to addictive stimuli, compared to the adult brain.[8]
Promiscuous sex also appears to alter the brain’s bonding pattern and so starts to treat these sexual patterns as normal, making sexual monogamy more challenging.[9]
Are teenagers being taught these facts about their bodies in school? Do they understand their own biology and the science behind why they might take risks, seek intensity, novelty and excitement? Are they being told that, whilst these powerful energies are not necessarily bad, they need be harnessed and used wisely when they are real adults, not just mini-ones.
Final message
It is tragic that God’s good design and purpose for sex has been hijacked and replaced with a literally seductive ‘sex positive’ worldview which fails to mention the accompanying downsides. We are not the killjoys that those who are encouraging children to explore sex now portray us to be. Rather we simply want the best for children and young people.
Teenagers need to know that it is possible to have great (indeed the best) sex if they press pause until later and marry someone who has also waited for such an experience.
But if they have already become sexually active, there is always the chance to make a fresh start with God. They need to know that they can approach adults who will be honest but also compassionate, and who will help them make different, healthier and more positive life choices.
If God is concerned about the welfare of the young, then we should be too. They are facing challenges which are hard for previous generations to imagine, However, with God’s help we can send teens ‘smart sex’ messages and encourage them to do sex and relationships in a better way, one which pays great dividends to them now and in the future.
References
[1] For perspectives on the superiority of heterosexual sex over any other type, read the testimony of Dr Robert Lopez: https://stream.org/the-lgbt-juggernaut-time-for-christians-to-face-our-failure/
[2] See Christopher West, Fill These Hearts. https://tobinstitute.org/
[3] For more on the work of Meg Meeker, see here: https://meekerparenting.com/. See also the work by psychiatrist, Miriam Grossman You’re Teaching My Child What? A Physician Exposes the Lies of Sex Education and How They Harm Your Child (2009).
[4] See https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/health-encyclopedia/he.External-Male-Condoms.hw190504spec
[5] https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/what-stds-do-condoms-not-prevent
[6] See https://publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm5804/cmselect/cmwomeq/463/report.html#heading-1
[7] See https://weascend.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/SRA-Works.pdf
[8] See: https://acpeds.org/adolescent-brain-under-construction/ and Frances E Jensen MD, The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults (2015), 108-9
[9] For more See The Brain Science on how Casual Sex Affects Human Development by Joe McIlhaney MD,
